Subduing ego

• one must subdue ego to such an extent that even if it is harmed No bother .. when one subjects mind to subduing ONLY then udvega goes ... MIND agitates .. but then once you let it suffer humilation .. it will listen
• I will again give personal account ... lest it should not come across as bragging ...
• At 21 SUkra dasha jupiter antardasha ...mark venus jupiter in lIBRA in conjunction .. those were the days of midas touch .. ... COME stand anywhere THERE would immediately a people of 20 would gather .. and slowly it woudl swell to 50 100 and the place would eb full of people juniors , elders .. boys girls men ... women old and experienced everyone just lISTENING to what I am speaking .. with pin drop silence .... and not a single day passed by without such exclusive attention ..
• JUST when mind was thinking OH what a days! a person , once came close and catching the two sleeves .agitatingly asked " WILL there ever be a DAY when YOU WILL SEE FAILURE ? "
• THe words rang hard in the ears .. the whole day went restless ... what is this NIMITTA ? and went home and checked horoscope .. well nice dasha antardasha ./. then where is ther problem .. why SUCH WORDS ? i asked my father ... DO you see any thing wrong in near future for me ?
• MY afther said LOOK at saturn transit ...
• hmm SADE SATI about to begin ... the FIRST WARNING BELLS were sound ...
• SO immidiately I drew an action plan .. let me practise SUBDUING .. let me not attack anyone who tries put down ... who tramples ego .. even if it means insult , EVEN if it means LOSING ... [ such was the fear of MAHATMA ]
• SO consciously started NO reaction MODEL .... and then testing time started ... I had to stay in a acquaintance house , who were smarthas and were quiet liberal .. My career had not yet started ... The head of the family was very successful bureaucrat ... though not highly educated , a good ninth house ahs made him jump seniority and reach top qucikly and was of the opinin that MORE than EDUCATION and learnings , ITS PRACTICALITY [ practical behaviour intelligent conduct and interpersonal managemnt ] that helps one grow .. and due to that alck , even most intellgent FAIL .. and inavriably he would give example of many IITians/ies who were his juniors even though they had passed out earlier to him
• SO as usual when discussion [ rather argument broke out ] would come to astrology [ the egntleman was mediocre astrologer too ] , he used to put down schlarshp and genius behaviour as NON practical person ... HE had two daughters ..
• In a nutshell the discussion would drive to a point him indirectly criticising that SCHOLARS /scientists have lack of interpersonal relationships and are failures in married life and ALso not successful materially
• HE would point to the fact That i am only discussing with elders too deep a thing and am not able to interact with others .. And would rather brush it off as TOO MUNDANE a thing .. in life ... ANd in ecstasy I called that thinking as a LIVING in a BOX .... taht offended gentleman very much ...
• NEXT day the egentleman thought of offending me practically and hurt me .. so as soonas woke up next morning .. [ the dhoti i was wearing was given to me by the HOST ... ] after bath as I was about to leave for my days agenda .... he said ... THE dhoti which you are wearing .. you must wash it and give it back . DONt you think ?
• TILL that day I had never washed anything in my life .... [ except when in seva i would rather squeeze angavastra and wear ] thats all ... AND the anger rose to peak .. and i thought { I am atithi and thsi man has lost senses ]
• and gentleman OF the age of my father [ not related ] took unknown liberty in saying .. YOU WILL NOT MOVE out unless you give back my cloth washed neat and clean ..
• there were TWO thoughs in mind .. ANYHOW I AM LEAVING , what if i DONT care what they say and leave ... and never ever comeback here again 2> wash it and let my ego water down ... OH what to do
• JUST then i remembered ... I had vowed to let my ego down even at the cost of INSULT ... so I took the dhoti and went inside the bathroom ... and just then both the girls rushed inside the bathroom to take away the cloth from me ... and said " we will do it dont mind NAnna's words .. " the gentle man came to bathroom and with TOP of the voice asked the girls to leave ... both the girls 19 yrs 22 yrs yelled at their father and point blabk said 'ITS wrong "
• i was about to soak the dhoti , the gentleman left teh house and GIRLs siezed the cloth ... I went away ... and as i was contemplating what should be my next step in that city ... going back was quiet insulting .... JUST then the elder girl through one of her friends located me and on phone with lot of force asked to return .. her friend dropped me in the area ... NOW again two thoughts cropped up in mIND ... !> why am I doing this ? do i have any shame left ?
• 2> IS EGO that important that an elderly persons words be taken SO SERIOSULY after all he is PITRUTULYA only ...
• THEN i cast a prashna chart checked naadi .. and said MAY be GOD has something good instore for me .. SO lets GO inside ..
• as I went inside ... THE gentleman gave a wierd LOOK " he directly asked .. WAS it necessary to come back here only ?" even before MY anger could express .. his elder daughter intercepted And SAID " I ahve invited him , DONT have RIGHT to invite ANYONE to my HOUSE ? " and then she GOT a BRAND NEW DHOTI .. just brought from MARKET .. and gave it and said LOUDLY " thsi is MY PURCHASE , freom my own hard earned money . YOU CAN WEAR IT and NOBODY can dare to ask you WASH it I WILL WASH it " and she looked at her FATHER ! the gentleman was perplexed WHY MY FAMILY is revolting ? he shook his head and went away ... without uttering a word ... from taht day he never EVER LOOKED INTO MY EYES STRAIGHT
• so WHILE SATURN tests .. HE NEVER LETS DOWN if our ATTEMPTS are sincere
• when saturn hits man sings all new tunes and speaks new language
• not to repeat the karma means , not to go by environment .... listen to heart ... GHUTANE pe haath rakhne , aur jo man ko laga wohi karne kaa ..
• I will tell you a secret ... there is a layer outside your body
• this layer becomes stronger with KUMBHAK ... the more the abilkity to do KUMBHAK more thick will be the layer ... .... so what happens ,, when words dont reach inside it doesnt hurt .. WHY before the person utters a word his own conviction in that falls apart and it doesnt reach you .. BUT if teh alyer is absent ror weak , MAN utters the words with CONVICTION .. and it hurts ..
• SAY a man stadning before is very RICH man , you dont KNOW ... and he doesnt looklike one , say he is in disguise ... say in torn shirt and pant .. and " if YOU say hey you wretched POOR fellow " ... will that affect him , as it doesnt he smiles at you .. and your conviction is lost ? you say IS he poor ? really ? " and there the layer of teh other man has rfelected our VENOM
• its pranayama ... holding breath is called kumbhak
• FOR all younger members .. let me know how much you have understood " why did the gentleman get offended when I said LIVING in THE BOX " ?
• NO ! what is LIVING in BOX which hurt him ?
• but why should that offend ?
• NO ! he did not get offended because it was pointed out ! think [ i knew memebers younger would not get it , but no one asked either ]
• frog in a well is too brutal an expression ... BUT still the gentleman was POLICY maker , so he would definitely NOT get offended by the words itself ...
• No! he was a wellwisher .... but there is a line of thinking which you are not able to think ?
• picture hamesha director ke angle se nahi dekhne ka ! aur kuch bhi hota hai ! / LIVING in a BOX straight way meant HE has seen LESS WORLD than me .. HE was already a SUCCESSFUL person .. and MY career had not yet started .. SO IT was LIKE bachhu abhi tumne kitni duniya dekhi hai .... chalo tumhe duniyadaari ka ek namuna dikhate
• this usually happens , people with enormous experience feel they ahve amaased much knwoledge and THAT is teh world ... when they encounter new THINKING .. they try to brush it off as INEXPERIENCED BRAG
• The genesis of that thought is PEOPLE who come after us are lesser than us .. and hence they know less and also no experience so what they talk is ecstasy , experimentation and usually NON serious ... now HERE the analysis is not based on actual content of speech but PREJUDICED andhence it causes friction ... WISE should always inspect CONTENT rather than age ..
• when the content is backed by smriti puraana vachan .. it should be accepted by WISE .. but one brushes that aside as archaic and not in tune with time , then vipareet jnana sets in